How did you even get here?

I admit it. I knew that when I littered a post with the word "nipple," my blog would soon be showing up in keyword searches that were probably both bizarre and filthy.

Somehow, I never anticipated the one that I'm about to share.

Before I do so, I want to make sure all the bloggers reading know about Google Analytics and have it set up on their blog. It's free (of course), fairly easy to set up, and it gives you some amazing statistics and data about your site.


For example, you'll learn that someone from Brazil visited your blog and looked around (unfortunately I cannot speak Portuguese, so I'm hoping he/she either speaks English or has a decent translator nearby).

One of my favorite Analytics tools is "traffic sources." This section shows you how people found your blog, whether that was from a link on another blog, via a comment you left somewhere with your URL attached, or a Google search. Common keyword searches from Google for my blog in the past have been "moved to maryland," "moving from maryland to louisiana," and pretty much anything with the words "Maryland" and "moving."

So you can imagine my surprise when I was browsing keywords the other day and this showed up:

"i am a 13 year old boy and i have no nipples"

Ok.

Unfortunately, that young boy did not find his answers on this blog (but I sure hope he found them somewhere).

Despite the fact that I've never even watched the show, the image of Kyle XY popped in my head (he has no belly button, but I'm sure he'd sympathize with someone without nipples).

This prompted me to search through keywords and find some other bizarre queries:

• my wife wears cowboy boots with holes in the soles (I'm thinking Bogdan might have done this search?)
• debate team in frederick md (I really should get that one started)
• guilting people to recycle (Oh I know all about this!)
• donkey cake maryland (I really have no clue about this one...)

What weird keyword searches have you found on your blog?