Guest post - Noah's Very Awesome and Radical Day

Looking good. That's me - Noah!

Hiya! My name is Noah. I'm a 5-month old alpaca and it seems like just yesterday I was taken away from the ladies pasture into a more manly confinement. I remember the day well, Farmer Joe came into the ladies pasture with the (unbeknown to us alpacas) intention of extracting me and my boy here from our mothers. We alpacas can put up quite a fit when things aren't going our way, and hoo boy you should've seen my mother. Hoo. Boy.

As for me, I was crying and kicking and pouting on the outside, but let me tell you, deep inside I was rejoicing! Sure, I love my mama. But it's something embarrassing being a nearly full grown man and wandering around with all these emotional females. I can clearly see the smirks on those old boys faces out in the male pasture when they take a break from their masculine games like king of the hill and they swagger up to the fence to hoot and holler at the gals. They are a condescending bunch! Looking at me like I want to be surrounded by these crazy women.

The baby boy in the Ladies Pasture, so very embarrassing

So back when Farmer Joe came by I played the part and did the obligatory emotional torment of a child being separated from his mama, but I'd be fibbing if I didn't tell you it was hard to keep the skip outta my step on the way out. My mama is a tough old alpaca and she shouted after me, "Boy! Don't be stupid!"

A wise woman.

And now we're at today, when me - Noah - and my boy here once again got put through another fiasco of embarrassment and got rounded up by 4H kids (kids!) and got stuck in this here solitary confinement like we're prisoners.

Me and my boy in solitary confinement. It wasn't so bad

The worst part is that we did nothing wrong. Broke no rules and still got shut up here like criminals. It ain't all bad though. Because these 4H kids were up to something this morning. We just couldn't tell what. They even rounded up old boy Giorgio this morning and stuck him in a cell right next to our's. Something odd was going on. Even farmer Joe looked different - put on his Sunday overalls and everything, and it's a Saturday! We could've investigated, but this here is tight quarters. If I hadn't known any better I'd been thinking this must be shearing day - but that didn't make any sense because that's not supposed to go down until spring. And we just started fall. No, that wasn't it.

Old Boy Giorgio, looking mighty fine if I say so myself

As the morning wore on, I saw some of those metal hunker clunkers creep up the drive (I believe you humans call them cars?). Now that in itself isn't too unusual - our farm gets visitors every once in a while - but, boy, the way those 4H kids perked up and ran busily around like a bunch of chickens, I knew this was out of the ordinary. My boy and I , we were curious, so we're all straining our ears to hear the excited chatter and I picked up "family," "farm," "festival," and "Frederick." That's all nonsense to me, so we asked old Giorgio and he, being all nonchalant, didn't even turn around and look at us when he muttered, "It's family festival at the farm day. They will pet you, and make stupid noises."

Sure enough, like clockwork, two of those 4H kids and four of them city folks came right up to us and started petting us like dogs and talking to us like babies. And so it went for the rest of the day... but I will admit, I liked the attention.

I think she thought I was a dog. Nope, I'm an alpaca, lady!

To be honest, ever since I left the gals pasture, I feel a little left out and under appreciated. I never get to play king of the hill, and I often catch myself staring over yonder at my mama, prancing around like she never had a son who was forcibly taken away from her. It was nice being cooed at all day, if I can say so myself. I think old boy Giorgio even liked it, but he'd never admit it. But I do declare, the Family Festival at the Farm was quite possibly the best day of my life thus far.

And that's saying something, because this alpaca has had a pretty exciting life. Hoo boy.